Pushing my Limits and Still Learning ...

Days 22-23 Pushing Limits I have been very reliant on the guidance of Karrin and Thiriza for both the workouts and meal plans involved in this program.  Up until Monday, I had either performed a workout with the company of one of them or done an at home workout created by one of them.  Also, relied on Karrin to plan my meals…really relieving me of any obligations to care for myself….all I had to do was put things in action.  On Monday, I orchestrated my own gym workout and executed it all alone….may seem like no big deal but it was actually a true ‘out of my comfort zone’ experience.  I was nervous going into the gym alone and knowing that I would have no one to lean on except myself, and that it was a possibility people would be looking at me if I was doing something wrong.  Karrin and Lane were at the gym also and since Karrin knows me so well, she offered for me to join their workout so that I wouldn’t be alone…and I almost gave in…but that internal PUSH carried me thru my insecurity and I attacked a leg work out on my own.  Like I said, it may seem like no big deal, but at the end I was very proud of myself and felt as though I conquered yet another challenge that this program faced me with.  It showed me that although I love the company of a partner to help motivate me, I wasn’t reliant on one to get things done.  Whether I have another person pushing me or I am pushing myself, I know personally, that a PUSH is what will drive me towards success.  The universe is so funny with the way it works because on Monday I was presented with this gym opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and on Tuesday I orchestrated an opportunity to help PUSH others and get them out of their comfort zone.  Tuesday’s RSF class was not a typical class and I knew going into it that the planned exercises were going to be intimidating for people…..but the method to my ‘madness’ was only to help people push their own limits.  I automatically assume that people are driven with the same motivating factors as I am.  Being presented with a scary and uncomfortable situation, pushing through it and then feeling the ultimate reward when completed.  But I learned that not everyone is the same, and that it is possible to push someone to hard.  This also makes me wonder if I inadvertently extended the high expectations I have on myself to others…..and whether or not that is positive.  This is all yet another example of how the elements of this 12 week challenge have caused me to explore my life, my physical and mental challenges and also my skewed perceptions of what is acceptable.  I am continuing to push forward and hopeful that there are many more lessons to be learned.