Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Turnin that Final Corner.....




Dang....been a while since I blogged about this program.....guess thats what happens when all you have time to do is work, workout and EAT! I wish I had super amazing progress and results to discuss but my frustration level will show that I have in fact NOT been experiencing increasing results.  I am in my second to last week of this 12 week program and although I am proud of how far I have come and what I have learned, I am not seeing in the mirror who I imagined I would be seeing.  It's still the same ol me that I see....maybe with a couple additional muscle cuts but not what I had hoped for.  I admit that I did not operate EXACTLY as instructed without any flaws but did my absolute best to keep up with what was outlined in the program.  I keep telling myself that my figure....the physical figure I have right now and have had for a while now is just my body and I should work on accepting that.  But I can't seem to be ok with that.  I crave a physical appearance that I have not been able to attain....not even with this hard core regimen.  I refuse to accept that this is just who I am and my body is unchangeable....I can't give in to that thought.  I just need to find that one particular regimen that will trigger the results that I so badly desire.  My workouts in this final stretch include HIIT training and increased reps for my weight training.  I do appreciate how much easier it is for me to lift weights.  I am going for those dumbbells that are twice the weight than when I started and no longer do I feel so sore that I can't move after a workout.  My body has adjusted to maximizing intensity and I am mentally stronger and able to fight thru the pain because I crave that end result.  That feeling of success when leaving the gym...knowing that I did the best I could.  But....so far its not enough for me.  I am going to ride it out and finish this program with as much intensity as I began but it definitely is not over.....my drive to change my body and finally smile at who I see in the mirror. :)

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